Why is so difficult to find the right one ??? If you strictly follow these rules, it actually isn’t!
I just got married on the 23. of April. Amazing day. I knew I will marry HIM after our first date, so it was just a matter of time. He, was a little unsure at first. Of course, some insecurity in a relationship is allowed, but in the first month of our relationship we both knew that THIS IS IT as they say, even if he was too afraid to admit it at first.
We are not one of those couples you see on TV, »not discussing« the proposals and getting married topics. We openly talk about everything, which of course, makes the surprise factor of a proposal a bit more difficult for him. Nevertheless, he managed it on a simple Friday evening with a rose in his hand, the ring inside the rose and him on one knee. Nothing more was ever wanted.
But this is not the point of this blog.
Lately I have been observing relationships around me; my friends, my parents, my parents-in-law, aunts and uncles… and I have to say that it’s amazing how bad it is, because most of them have completely missed the point of REAL LOVE RELATIONSHIPS. In these new ages we tend to find someone to marry for other reasons than love. Of course, the country where I live in is full of CHAPIADORAS (gold diggers) and SANKYPANKIES (male gold diggeres) , but even other places, the marriage or just a simple relationship often turns into a disaster, where 2 people mainly »take each other’s shit«, and push each other’s buttons.
Sorry but long distance relationships, where you SEE your loved one once few months, ISN’T A RELATIONSHIP. Neither is if you have been dating for over 1 year and NOTHING HAS CHANGED, no marriage talk, no moving in together, nothing …
YOU ALL DESERVE BETTER DON’T YOU THINK?
My hubby and I moved together after 6 months of dating. We are currently living in our 2nd home, and every time, it gets better. US AND THE HOME! And as mentioned, we knew we were meant to be since the first month. No doubts, no secrets, no pretending.
Why is so difficult to find the right one? Why is so complicated to stay with one person for more than just few months? The anwser is simple: EGO doesn’t want us to. Therefore, it finds just about anything you can nag about to make sure the relationship won’t last.
The funny thing is;
WHEN IT’S RIGHT, IT’S RIGHT. AND YOU BOTH KNOW IT RIGHT AWAY.
You ask HOW to get that RIGHT? Am happy that it ONLY took me 28 years to learn the main skill to get this happy ending. These are the steps:
- Be single for a while before jumping into the next dead-end relationship. The goal is to find the RIGHT ONE. Just jumping from one to another, without making changes in between WILL NOT bring you the deserved/desired result.
- Work on yourself ONLY: if you don’t change, your daily results WON’T CHANGE.
THE SAME GOES WITH THE SAME. So if you look at yourself while dating »THAT IDIOT« do not think you are ANY BETTER. If you are, would you really date an idiot? So devote the time off to yourself, and your personal improvements. Be open to your faults, your bad traits, your negative thinking, etc., and CHANGE THEM. - BE HAPPY BEING ALONE. You don’t want a relationship where you NEED someone to make you happy. THAT DOES NOT EXIST. It’s in your imagination and it WILL NEVER WORK. So learn to be alone – no one night stands, no flings, but pure happiness by spending time by yourself, and loving your own company. We should be in a relationship where you Want the partner, not Need them.
- Getting your priorities straight: knowing what you want and be strict about it. Once you have improved personally, and you can be happy by yourself, independent, not needing anybody to make you happy, make sure you WRITE DOWN TOP 5 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS you want from your future partner. It does not matter if they are physical or mental, but make sure that are 5, no more no less, and that are the things you MUST HAVE in your soul partner. Once you are ready to date again, you have to check this »to-do-list« and be faithful to it. No cheating. If the person does NOT have one of these qualities, you say goodbye and MOVE ON!
- Be strong, persistent and determined. A person with your TOP 5 QUALITIES is out there for sure. I promise. I met my hubby, that has all 5 (and also all the following 20 that were not on the list) right after me dumping a really nice and cute guy who was lacking only 1 thing from the list. The No.1 one. But I was strong enough to let him go as soon as I realized he is missing one, and in the next few days I met my husband. Not a joke. But the trick was in LETTING GO OF WHAT WAS NOT RIGHT, with POSITIVE AND DETERMINED BELIEF THE RIGHT ONE WILL COME. And HE DID!
So don’t settle for anything less. Don’t give up, and never GIVE IN!
By now you know your worth, and CLAIM IT! I promise, following these 5 things, YOU WILL, FOR SURE, GET THE RIGHT ONE. But it all depends on YOU! DO YOU DARE TO TRY?