Since, duh, this is a blog, all I write is strictly personal, therefor completely subjective. Nevertheless, I hope these peculiar experiences will somehow make your life better and easier. Why would you want to learn from your own mistakes and struggle, if you can learn from mine, and get to your happy ending faster and easier? We like to learn on our own skin only because it’s the only time it really counts and truly makes a difference. I’ve come to where I am after many years of learning, trying out my limits and testing my »living skills«. Yes. I have failed so many times. Still failing time to time, let me reassure you, I am far from perfect. But thanks to a few people, I have learnt what the key of life, better said, the key to life’s happiness is. So when I fail now, I realise it quicker, with less agony and make another step in my life that so obviously needs to be done for an even brighter future.
I will never forget THE FEELING I had about 8 years ago. I was married, had »a job«, we lived in the suburbs of Ljubljana city, really pretty and green and calm and just idyllic really. I was 23, first to be married among my friends and just moved back to Slovenia, after living in China for over 3 years. My life seemed lovely, FULLY LIVED. Yet, it was far from the truth.
The feeling I mentioned was the sensation of »being stuck«; not knowing where to go next in life, not even knowing where you are in life. Felt like I was living someone else’s life, and the soul in me was sinking deeper and deeper day after day.
I am glad this feeling will never be forgotten, and I am even happier that I have the right friends, or should I say mentors that remind me of that lost moment time to time. Something I never want to feel again.
BEING STUCK IN MY BODY, NO PURPOSE, NO GOAL, NO PASSION = NO HAPPINESS.
I thought I had learned what will keep me happy and what will satisfy my daily needs, but all that was lost in vain through each joint I smoked on a daily, hourly basis. I WAS COMPLETELY LOST. Crying inside for someone to save because I didn’t know how to save myself. Enters my best friend. Believe me, the first few weeks of knowing him, I hated his guts, but now, life just wouldn’t be as beautiful as it is without his annoying ass. Haha. Just today he reminded me of that painful feeling and what means to be happy. It’s not about the things you have, the things you own, the number of friends you’ve gone tor even the places you have travelled, but true happiness comes from knowing that each day, week, month, year, you have grown as a person and you have achieved new things you would never even imagine you could.
It starts with courage and ends with action. Action day through day. Setting yourself goals and going after them no matter how crazy they might seem. It’s the vision of you being a better you everyday because so extend your limits every time you set yourself a new aim. Happiness is the feeling of utterly insane vision of what you want in life, and not being afraid to go and get it, even when the whole world is against you.
It sounds simple, happiness that is. Just take yourself out of your comfort zone, picture yourself in the future like you would in your wildest dreams and go for it. No matter the situation.
Every time I stop myself for a few days, weeks, without progress, I remember now that devastating feeling I had 8 years ago that was the peak of my lows. I promised I will never feel like this again. And, years later, I still haven’t. And a big plus to it all, each year it takes me less time to realise I am slowly losing myself in this vicious comfort zone that locks your soul up and gives your ego a pretense feeling of happiness, where EVERYTHIGS IS JUST FINE. This isn’t happiness. Move, evolve, grow, learn, achieve, overcome, etc. And you will finally feel what happiness feels like from the inside, when nobody can take it away from you!
From my favorite movie:
“The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.”